In the search for understanding of self, discovering and uncovering my essence and my essential self I have traveled far and wide, to 23 countries, hundreds of cities, towns; many mountains, beaches, rivers; had countless conversations with countless number of people all in the effort of exploration and definition.
The number of lessons learned is infinite and growing as is the number of places traveled or yet to be traveled too, conversations had or have yet to be had, etc. Through it all this is really a big part of it and in its own way/words describes my essence or essential self....
I am what I be, what I am and in this moment or in this life what it appears to me is that I am an adventure seeker, an explorer who is curious and wants to learn, share, exchange, see, experience, feel, taste, be part of, live the life of, etc. And, as it becomes even more clear I find that in doing so I am better able to lead by example, speak from my truth, my essence and truly share with people my experiences and share in theirs all in the name of living life to the fullest, living without limits, borders, boundaries, fears and truly challenging and pushing myself to new frontiers.
The lifestyle of a person on the road, out and about, engaging, being a part of the world community! This is an amazing realization and truthfully more of an acceptance and embrace of my essence that a real discovery. Honestly I have known for years that I was like this, I just was not and am still not with 100% certainty how it all is going to show up or play out and part of the adventure and exploration is not knowing and being open to the moment, to the present, to the experience and allowing the present moment to move you in the direction you move.
I fought this for years, fought living my truth, my essence out of fear, out of influences that were not my own but allowing others to direct me, out of what I thought was the "RIGHT" way to do things, out of fear of loss of control, loss of partnerships (intimate partners), out of many factors that were not truths but things I made up due to my choices.
So, it has been a journey and continues to be one, but through time and by traveling down the paths I have and awakening to present moment, becoming conscious, becoming grateful, and finding uncondtional love, understanding and embracing non-attachment, embracing the compassionate way for self and others, and so many more factors (practically endless things, lets just chalk it up to an accumulation of the collective of all my experiences) I have come to my essence.
I stare it right in the face every time I look in the mirror, or engage with people, etc. I am not afraid of it and nor am I attached to it but I am embracing it and flowing through life with this understanding and an appreciation of my past, present and future.
I realize that living this way is not for everybody, and in fact may be for only 1% of the population. Many may not understand or even want to and many may be curious and some may even wish to do what I do in some way or another. None of this is important, it is part of life and the experiences we have. I am just grateful to have found my essence and embrace it in the present moment.
This chapter is in the beginning stages with so many potential pages to be written and many chapters to follow, stay tuned it is growing in adventure which means many stories, reflections, and excitement to come through the many varied expereinces and opportunities.
I say all this as a reminder to myself, as a letter to myself and my inner essence. Thank you for sharing in this with me and making it what it is!