Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Reflection....from there to here and now

So I was just thinking back to how I was and I realize and have to admit I was a stubborn, hard headed, strong minded, egoic, ass, son of a bitch at times and could be really mean, controlling, possessive, angry and jealous to name a may argue that I still am this way, LOL

What I know is this, this is all true and I admit it! But this is how I was, who I was but not at my core but in my ego self. And, these were the lessons and experiences that I needed to be where I am today. Now, I would have liked to bypass all this and been where I am without some of the consequences of my behavior. I caused people pain, anger, frustration, stress, hurt, broken hearts, disappointment, and so much more because of the way I behaved and acted out.

I have, am and continue to transcend this and develop into my essence. I have to say all the small 'victories' through the years mixed in with the setbacks have added up and now I am in my essence 90% of the time or more or less...who knows but I am aware of where I am and where I have been and where I am headed!

I have so much gratitude and humility at the same time that I can openly admit who I was and too see where I am and have come too. All the experiences, the people, etc. have truly helped me to become who I am and for all you I say thank you and pass my love.

I am human and slip sometimes and these moments serve to educate and empower me and remind of my humanity! They help me to grow and evolve and in turn share with you, all of you and possibly raise our level of awareness and consciousness to new fronteirs, beyond our self imposed boundaries.

I am a human being traveling the paths that unfold in front of me moment by moment, appreciating the beauty and perfection of each moment, of all the experiences that are happening, open and free to live and experience the love and grace that embodies all that is! So grateful and humbled by life!

Can I just say it is soothing and peaceful to share this and be honest and truthful. I did not get into some of the details, the who's, etc. but out of respect to all that 'stuff' I say thank you, I am grateful and I am apologize!

1 comment:

Cecilia Tom said...

Your words are soothing and peaceful ... Thank you!!!